♦ GOD I AM LONELY

♦ I opened my eyes on a war.
♦ I had to work at age of 10 years old.
♦ I took the father's duties for years in a society that gives no rights to the mother to work or do anything out of the house. I was responsible of my mom and five younger brothers and sisters.
♦ I was clever in the school thanks God, otherwise I would not be able to finish my education.
♦ Continued my education and working at the same time. I even finished the MSc degree in Engineering.
♦ Finished the military service.

What was the price that I had to pay for all this?!
♦ I missed the whole childhood of my life.
♦ My relationship to my family is not so strong. I didn't feel that I belong to that house.
♦ I had no friends at all, because I had no time for them.
♦ I had no money, because I had to fund a big family.

After the graduation, I start feel how lonely I was. I don't know anybody in my own town. No university friends were close to me. Most of the left the country.

I was totally alone!!
"I have to get better job" I told to myself. "I have high education now".
No!!... Not even a chance in such a country of Sectarianism.
I had no time to make plans. I had to leave the country. Everything is going to another war. This time I can not make it. The few friends I had are already died in the last war.

I had to walk 6 monthes to the new home. Long tough journey.. to start over.

My education is not accepted here.. I have to study something else to get a job. I worked hard for 3 years to finish the course and get a job. And started working hardly. I feel the years are passing away and I am still on zero. I have nothing in this life.

I decided to get a family. Get married with the first girl I could find.. after 2 years I got twins. Oh not again, I have to work harder now. My wife is sick and I should take care about everybody.

Now I am over 40 years old, and still feel lonely!
I big distance starts to appear between me and my wife..

I feel that I had to accept being alone person.. and not get a family.

Loneliness is my destiny.
Who's mistake was that?!